maricon-carne:

jonbutter:

concealedblade:

concealedblade:

“please honk my sphincter daddy” Slappy the Clown immediately spurts his clown cum directly into my intestines, emitted a low pitched honk characteristic of a clown in climax. i gasp, “Wait…..Slappy…..did you just? do you really think i’m ready to have a litter yet- ahh~” i sigh as i feel his clown ovipositor sink into my guts and deposit each egg with a short honk

whew this was controversial in the notes

this is controversial everywhere

I bit into my emergency cyanide tooth because of this post

glumshoe:

I saw a baby today with very blue eyes—my first thought was, absurdly, colored contact lenses, but my second thought was MA’AM HAS YOUR SON BEEN STABBED BY A MORGAL BLADE?! Do you need to get him to Rivendell?

worryinglyglitterytreehouse:

I’m just gonna say it- blue eyes scare me.

glumshoe:

I’m so used to desaturated gray eyes being referred to as “blue” that when I see real people whose eyes are genuinely, actually, really “blue” I am surprised and vaguely unsettled.

gunsandfireandshit:

holegod:

they said what they said

jenniferrpovey:

Soap and water works better. Hand sanitizer is your backup.

iamemmao:

Ahem.

anthonydarling:

what I also mean: I’m friends with a girl that’s directly related to an important figure in the revolutionary war and I like to zoom in really close on the guys face and send it to her with a caption along the lines of “ur great great great grandfather was a traitor to the colonies. follow in his footsteps”

anthonydarling:

me: I really like history

what some ppl think I mean, and understandably so: eheheh I like military history

what I mean: people are and have always been fucking crazy and it’s very entertaining to find out what they were up to. it’s like drama but like three centuries old.